There is only one thing wrong with trying to treat others with empathy by imagining ourselves in their places - we cannot really know what they are going through.
On "The Dick Van Dyke Show," there was an episode in which various characters tell a character played by Jerry Van Dyke that, "I know just how you feel." He immediately replies, "Nobody knows how I feel."
This is the case when we have experienced trauma and trial similar to what others are going through, and it is true when we have no first-hand knowledge of what others are facing.
We all have our crosses, but their pain is unique to us and understood only by us.
This is the case of someone facing a terminal illness. It is also true of a once-loving couple going through a bitter divorce. The same could be said of a person whose spouse died unexpectedly.
This is seen by matter of degree. Parents whose child overcame a very serious illness can only understand a fraction of the pain of parents whose child died from something that proved incurable. Couples who underwent years of the sadness of infertility before becoming parents cannot grasp the pain of couples whose prayers for a child were not answered.
Fortunately for us, there is one who can and does know exactly what we are going through - God.
All the rest of us can do is treat others as compassionately as possible and pray that they realize that God is there for them always and always in love.
+++
Prayer is both the least and most we can do for others.
