Older adults, especially those in nursing facilities, are prone to loneliness and depression during the holiday season. Holding on to good memories, dealing with the loss of independence and trying to adapt to changes in health can make the holidays less than merry. Families and friends who include the older adult in the season's celebration enrich the holiday experience immensely.
If your loved one is in a nursing home, the activities department will have a calendar full of seasonal things to do during the month and will usually arrange for outside groups to entertain and visit the residents. Facility staff will decorate and begin to play Christmas music on the units to make it more home-like, but it's important for the resident to feel a family connection.
Often, older adults will feel as though they're "in the way" or they've let their family down. Spending time with them is vital.
If their health allows, ask your loved one to help with holiday preparation such as addressing Christmas cards, if they did that at home, or wrapping small presents.
Family members can bring decorations and help the resident decorate their room. It's recommended that visitors ask what is permitted in the room for safety reasons. Emotionally, the holidays are hard on everyone, but it's important that families don't make promises they may not be able to keep. Visiting someone whose memory is declining is difficult as well as disheartening for family and friends.
An older person may respond to stimuli that triggers a memory from long ago such as a Christmas song they learned in their childhood. One suggestion would be to bring Christmas tapes and videos and watch them together.
Some residents will be able to spend the holiday at home with family. We recommend notifying the nursing staff at least 24 hours in advance. This gives the staff time to get the resident ready to leave the facility, especially if medications need to be sent along.
In some instances, the resident's doctor may have to sign off on the request to leave the facility. If the doctor is taking a vacation around the holidays, advance notice will circumvent paperwork delays or not getting the papers signed in time.
If you're taking your loved one home for the first time, facility staff will be able to answer questions such as: How much care will be required in the home? If you have stairs at home, will the family member be able to handle the steps? If you're taking medications along, what's the best way to give them?
Talking things out and making family aware of any difficulty the resident is having is conducive to having a holiday visit that's comfortable and enjoyable for all. Remembering what it was like to be home and wanting to stay there instead of returning to the facility will be difficult.
Happy times remembered and enjoyed now with others and making the most of the time spent together is the best way to take care of emotional needs. If the older adult can participate in family tasks, you can ask them to help with things like wrapping small presents, setting the table, and decorating.
Often, seasonal enjoyment includes watching others prepare if there is a limited ability to participate. Older adults who live in the community are encouraged to take a pro-active role in letting their families know their limitations and what role they'd like to play in the holidays.
During this holiday season, we urge you to include the older adults in your life whether they're in a nursing home or just down the block. Recalling and sharing happy memories, making new memories and remembering what the holiday season is about is the best present you can give - or receive.